Do You Even Win, Bro?

Whether we realize it or not, most of us are keeping score in our heads when we train.

How many times did I tap someone?

How many times did I get tapped?

Did I “win” the round or not?

Sometimes progress looks like:

Getting tapped one less time than the last round.

Lasting a little longer before things start to fall apart.

Stopping that one training partner from putting you in that same horrible position over and over again.

Those things count.

That’s part of learning how to recognize what’s happening and stay in the round a little longer each time.

But as you keep training, the idea of “winning” has to shift.

Because if winning only means getting more taps - or just not getting put in bad spots - it becomes really easy to start avoiding the exact situations that would help you improve.

You stop trying things because they might not work. You steer away from positions where you’re uncomfortable.

And over time, that slows your progress more than it helps.

I remember as a white belt, I kept finding myself in a position I liked - but I couldn’t connect it to the move I was trying to hit.

The opportunity was there. I was just a step behind.

Over time, that gap between my position and my move started getting smaller.

I was getting there a little faster. A little cleaner. A little more aware of what was happening.

And then one round, it finally clicked.

The transition was smooth. The timing was right. I finally connected the position to the move I had been chasing.

I also got tapped that round - nearly immediately afterwards.

But that didn’t really matter.

When it was over, I walked away feeling like I had just won something I’d been working on for a long time.

That still happens now - just in a different way.

There are times where I’ll try something against my coach. It might work once or twice - and then he starts to shut it down.

At that point, the “win” isn’t how I did in the round.

It’s being able to go back to that move - knowing he’s ready for it - and still make it work anyway.

The rest of the round can go south. I don’t really care.

That part is enough.

So instead of measuring your rounds by who tapped who, try shifting your focus.

Look for the things that are starting to work.

Look for the gaps in positions that are getting smaller.

Look for the problems that are getting closer to being solved.

If you can do that, you’ll start walking away from more rounds feeling like you actually got a little something extra out of them.

See you on the mats.